Finding and Following Our Polar Star

Years ago, on a moonless night in the mountains of Northern Utah, I looked up at the sky and saw thousands and thousands of sparkling "diamonds in the sky."

Out of habit, I searched for the North Star. I looked first for the Big Dipper, which is easy to find because of its recognizable shape and the brightness of its stars. Then I traced a line through the two "pointer stars" opposite its handle and extended that line upward until I found Polaris, the North Star, at the end of the handle of the Little Dipper.

I thought of this experience later when I came across the following story that President Gordon B. Hinckley told about when he and his brother worked summers on their father's farm. He said:

“‘After a day of good, hard labor, my younger brother Sherm and I would sleep out under the stars in the box of an old farm wagon . . . .  On those clear, clean summer nights, we would lie on our backs in that old wagon box and look at the myriads of stars in the heavens. We could identify some of the constellations and other stars as they were illustrated in the encyclopedia which was always available in our family library. We identified some of the more visible patterns in the heavens, but our favorite was the North Star. Each night, like many generations of boys before us, we would trace the Big Dipper, down the handle and out past the cup, to find the North Star.

“‘We came to know of the constancy of that star. . . .  As the earth turned, the others appeared to move through the night. But the North Star held its position in line with the axis of the earth. Because of those boyhood musings, the polar star came to mean something to me. I recognized it as a constant in the midst of change. It was something that could always be counted on, something that was dependable, an anchor in what otherwise appeared to me a moving and unstable firmament’” (Quoted by Jeffrey R. Holland, "President Gordon B. Hinckley: Stalwart and Brave He Stands,” Ensign, June 1995, p. 5).

Perhaps President Hinckley had this boyhood realization in mind when, on another occasion, he compared Jesus Christ to the North Star:

“Like the polar star in the heavens, regardless of what the future holds, there stands the Redeemer of the world, the Son of God, certain and sure as the anchor of our immortal lives. He is the rock of our salvation, our strength, our comfort, the very focus of our faith” (Gordon B. Hinckley, “We Look to Christ,” Ensign, May 2002).

This is something that I have come to know for myself.

Just as the North Star, with its fixed bearing, guides travelers safely to their destinations, so too is Jesus Christ our fixed and unchanging spiritual beacon. He is the Light and Life of the World. He is our Guide and our Stay. He is the Way, the Truth and the Life. He is our Polar Star. He shows us the way home. He is the way home, and He brings us safely there.

But if the Savior is our Polar Star, how shall we find Him? What are the pointer stars that point us to Christ?

There are many possible answers to that question. Indeed, the scriptures teach that all things bear record of Christ (see, e.g., Moses 6:63). But in this context, the following metaphor has become meaningful to me:

• I am the bottom pointer star.

• Apostles and prophets are the top pointer star.

When I look to the apostles and prophets of Jesus Christ, they point me toward Him. By looking to apostles and prophets, I am more easily able to find and follow Jesus Christ.

Of course, I can use my own faculties to try to find and follow the Savior. But sometimes trying to find Christ on my own can seem like searching the heavens for a particular star without knowing where to look.

Apostles and prophets, past and present, provide a crucial reference point that helps me find and follow Jesus Christ.

However, on another more recent night, when I looked up and traced a line through the pointer stars of the Big Dipper, I noticed something I hadn't stopped to think about before. The line I was tracing didn't point exactly straight toward the North Star. It pointed ever so slightly to the left of it.

Once I realized this, I began to question whether the pointer stars were a good metaphor for myself and apostles and prophets after all.

I thought a lot about recent and past opposition to apostles and prophets and their teachings. There has almost always been such opposition. That opposition has included such things as criticism, faultfinding, ridicule, rejection, anger, resentment and dismissal. Over the ages, many apostles and prophets have been persecuted, imprisoned and killed.

I also thought about the genuine struggles that many people—myself included—have had with some of their teachings. Sometimes those struggles have left people feeling frustrated, disappointed, angry or disaffected.

It occurred to me that anyone finding fault with apostles and prophets and their teachings might want to turn my metaphor around and use it to illustrate their belief that apostles and prophets, with all their shortcomings, actually point us away from that which is good and right.

I have taken a lot of time to think about that, and here is how I would respond.

First, apostles and prophets are, of course, imperfect human beings. Admittedly so.

While serving in the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, President Dieter F. Uchtdorf stated:

"We openly acknowledge that in nearly 200 years of Church history—along with an uninterrupted line of inspired, honorable, and divine events—there have been some things said and done that could cause people to question.

"Sometimes questions arise because we simply don’t have all the information and we just need a bit more patience. When the entire truth is eventually known, things that didn’t make sense to us before will be resolved to our satisfaction.

"Sometimes there is a difference of opinion as to what the 'facts' really mean. A question that creates doubt in some can, after careful investigation, build faith in others.

"And, to be perfectly frank, there have been times when members or leaders in the Church have simply made mistakes. There may have been things said or done that were not in harmony with our values, principles, or doctrine.

"I suppose the Church would be perfect only if it were run by perfect beings. God is perfect, and His doctrine is pure. But He works through us—His imperfect children—and imperfect people make mistakes.

"In the title page of the Book of Mormon we read, 'And now, if there are faults they are the mistakes of men; wherefore, condemn not the things of God, that ye may be found spotless at the judgment-seat of Christ.'

"This is the way it has always been and will be until the perfect day when Christ Himself reigns personally upon the earth.

"It is unfortunate that some have stumbled because of mistakes made by men. But in spite of this, the eternal truth of the restored gospel found in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is not tarnished, diminished, or destroyed.

"As an Apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ and as one who has seen firsthand the councils and workings of this Church, I bear solemn witness that no decision of significance affecting this Church or its members is ever made without earnestly seeking the inspiration, guidance, and approbation of our Eternal Father. This is the Church of Jesus Christ. God will not allow His Church to drift from its appointed course or fail to fulfill its divine destiny" ("Come, Join with Us," Ensign, November 2013, p. 21).

Some understandably balk at the idea of putting their trust in apostles and prophets who are not perfect. But God, who is perfect, can only work through us, his imperfect children, and apparently he doesn't hesitate to do so. As the apostle Paul said:

"But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty" (1 Corinthians 1:27). "Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men" (1 Corinthians 1:25).

I have not experienced what it is like to shoulder the solemn responsibility of being called as an apostle or prophet, but I can tell you what it felt like to be called as a bishop of my ward (congregation). I felt the weight of the mantle of responsibility that rests on the shoulders of a bishop, who, under the direction of the First Presidency of the Church, is given priesthood keys and responsibilities to serve as a judge in Israel and as the presiding high priest and president of the Aaronic Priesthood in his ward. In addition, I felt the tremendous burden of my own inadequacies. Individually and together with the men and women with whom I served, I spent many, many hours in prayer seeking direction from the Lord and waiting upon the Lord. We counseled together, prayed together and served together. I often stood in awe at what the members of our ward accomplished as we followed that direction. Nevertheless, I became keenly aware of times when I made mistakes and fell short and of other times when I sincerely thought I was doing the right thing but someone let me know they still felt hurt or offended by what I had done. I wonder how many times I might have offended someone else without knowing it.

Yet, I also felt the sustaining influence of Heaven throughout my service as a bishop as I simply tried to do my best. When I was released from that calling, I felt the enormous spiritual weight of the bishop's mantle, along with the abiding support God had granted me to bear it, simultaneously lifted—something I know many bishops feel when they are released from that calling. I have felt nothing else like that moment. The mantle of a bishop is real. I know it.

Imagine the sense of responsibility and inadequacy, and also of divine support, one must feel who is called to bear the weight of the mantle of an apostle or prophet. Some of the great prophets of the ages, like Moses and Enoch, were extremely reluctant to assume that responsibility because of perceived personal weaknesses. And yet they did.

What would it be like to actually be called as an apostle of the Lord, Jesus Christ, and to try to fulfill the enormous responsibilities of that calling? How would it be to know you would serve in that calling for the rest of your life, always in the public eye and under public scrutiny every minute of every day?

I suspect that most people's perspective about apostles and prophets would change dramatically after walking just a mile or two in their shoes.

Second, I am obviously imperfect, too. Undoubtedly more so.

In the constellation of my experience, the top pointer star of apostles and prophets at times seems to be out of line. But what about the position of my own bottom pointer star? What is my own responsibility in the matter? How much of the sideward slant of the line from my bottom pointer star through the top pointer star is caused by my own imperfections and my own imperfect placement. Am I not also "out of line"?  (Click here to read my musings about how I actually judge myself whenever I judge others: "Judging Myself".)

For me, what is important is that, when I look to apostles and prophets and their teachings about Jesus Christ and His gospel, I am better able to find and follow Jesus Christ in spite of their imperfections and mine.

For me, the metaphor still works!

Whenever I trace a line from my pointer star through the pointer star of apostles and prophets, I am always able to find the Polar Star of Jesus Christ, just like I can always find the North Star whenever I trace a line through the pointer stars of the Big Dipper. I can't miss it, even though the angle of the line is slightly off.

Once I find the Polar Star, I can shift my focus from the imperfect angle of the line and fix my focus on our perfect, loving, unchanging Savior. He is uniquely able to comfort and teach me in my struggles and help me find my way in a world of imperfection, opposition, contradictions and contrasts—a world in which answers are not always evident and the truth is not always black and white. See also my analogy on this subject in "Hugging the Inside Line."

I feel blessed to be able to make this grand journey in a church that is real, as Melissa Inouye has so eloquently expressed. See "A Church That Is Real: Walking the Path of Most Resistance," Wayfare Magazine, Jan. 7, 2025.

—o0o— 

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Hugging the Inside Line

We live in a time when many struggle with serious questions, concerns and doubts. There are difficult questions for which we do not yet have answers.

It seems that many people are walking away from their faith in God and Jesus Christ because of such concerns. I love and care about them and share many of their concerns.

I do not know what anyone else should do about navigating difficult questions, but I can share something I have learned that helps me.

Soon after I got my first driver’s license when I was 16 years old, I was driving my parents’ car and a good friend was riding with me. I wasn’t an experienced driver, and there was a long, continuous curve in the road where I was having trouble navigating the bend. The car kept edging toward the outside of the curve, and it felt like we were going to fly off the side of the road. It felt terrible, and I was really embarrassed in front of my friend. I became very frustrated and finally pulled to a stop on the side of the road.

My friend didn’t judge me. He said he knew what the problem was and how I could solve it.

He said I was just looking in the wrong place. He said I was focusing on the outside line, and this was causing the car to drift toward the outside of the curve, where centrifugal force would naturally send the car flying off the side of the road. He said all I needed to do was to slow down before entering the curve, focus on the inside line on the shorter side of the curve, and then gradually accelerate into the curve while I “hugged” the inside line. This is apparently something that many people seem to know how to do instinctively, but I had to be taught how to do it.

That experience has become for me a useful analogy for when life throws us winding curves along the road of life.

In the analogy, the outside line of the curve represents whatever issue or concern we have for which we do not currently have an answer. The inside line of the curve represents Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and their pure love for us. If we drive full speed into the curve, like I did, focusing on the outside line of troubling questions, our ride will feel gut-wrenching, and it will seem almost impossible to stay on the road. We will want to pull off the road, and no one would blame us for not wanting to ever experience such a gut-wrenching ride again.

But if we instead slow down as we approach such a curve and we focus intently on the inside line, which is the Lord and his love, we can gradually accelerate into the curve, stay on the road, and navigate it without serious difficulty. We just need to look in the right place and hug the inside line.

We exercise faith in God and Christ when we hug the inside line. Although we are still aware of the outside line and the questions for which we don’t have an answer, we are able to remain on the road—or get back on the road—by focusing on the inside line where we find the Savior, who knows all things, who loves us with a perfect love and who knows exactly what we need and when we need it. He will teach us how to live in the midst of uncertainty. He will teach us compassion toward fellow travelers whose caring, troubled hearts find it unbearable to navigate curves of life that seem unfair, unkind, unjust and unrelenting. He can show us how to make things better by lifting and loving each other as we continue to wait together upon the Lord for greater wisdom and understanding.

Hugging the inside line makes all the difference for me. I hope it makes a difference for you, too.

—o0o— 

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Learning to Love My Enemy

 

Several years ago, I was asked to speak in church on the topic of forgiveness.

While preparing to speak, I read a general conference talk about forgiveness by Elder M. Joseph Brough. He told a story that his stake president, Bruce M. Cook, had shared with him.

Elder Brough said Brother Cook and some of his associates had started a business. They made some poor business decisions during challenging economic times, and the business failed. Some investors in the business filed a lawsuit to recover their losses. Their attorney was a man who was a counselor in the bishopric in Brother Cook’s ward. This created an awkward and difficult situation for Brother Cook. Brother Cook said:

“It was very difficult to sustain the man who seemed to be seeking to destroy me. I developed some real animosity toward him and considered him my enemy. After five years of legal battles, we lost everything we owned, including our home.

“In 2002, my wife and I learned that the stake presidency in which I [then] served as a counselor was being reorganized. As we traveled on a short vacation prior to the release, she asked me whom I would choose as my counselors if I were called as the new stake president. I did not want to speak about it, but she persisted. Eventually, one name came to my mind. She then mentioned the name of the attorney we considered to have been at the center of our difficulties 20 years earlier. As she spoke, the Spirit confirmed that he should be the other counselor. Could I forgive the man?”

I paused at this point in reading this story and also asked myself, could I have forgiven that man?

Bro. Cook’s story continued.

“When Elder David E. Sorensen extended to me the call to serve as stake president, he gave me an hour to select counselors. Through tears, I indicated that the Lord had already provided that revelation. As I spoke the name of the man I had considered my enemy, the anger, animosity, and hate I had harbored disappeared. In that moment, I learned of the peace that comes with forgiveness through the Atonement of Christ.” (M. Joseph Brough, “Lift Up Your Head and Rejoice,” Ensign, Nov. 2018.)

As I thought about this story, I knew right away that I shouldn’t prepare just to talk about forgiveness. I needed to practice what I would be preaching, and so I asked myself two questions:

First, is there someone I need to ask for forgiveness?

And second, is there someone I need to forgive?

Before that moment, I had already done a lot of repenting and forgiving in my life, and I thought I was in a pretty good place. So, when I asked those two questions, I was surprised by how much more forgiveness I needed. The names of several people, including family members, came to my mind.

One such name was that of my high school debate class teacher. I had had an experience during my senior year of high school that left me feeling deeply hurt and resentful toward him. Over the years I had tried to forgive him. Mentally I said I did forgive him. But when his name came up now as someone I needed to forgive, I could tell that the hurt and resentment I had buried deep in my heart earlier in my life was still there. I couldn’t seem to let it go.

During my junior year of high school, I had really liked our debate class teacher, whom we nicknamed “JT”. My debate partner and I did well in competitions that year, and we were expected to be one of the top teams the next year. However, when my senior year started, I realized I had over scheduled myself, and I was feeling completely overwhelmed. So, I talked with JT and asked to participate in mock legislative assembly instead of debate, because legislative assembly wouldn’t require as much preparation. JT reluctantly agreed. This would leave my debate partner without a partner, and JT was unhappy about that.

The school year went on, and it turned out that I did well in legislative assembly competitions. I tied for first place at our school’s regional tournament, and I received an invitation to participate in the state tournament. Things seemed to be going better than I had expected.

Then I received my first semester report card and everything changed. My report card said I received a D grade for debate class. I was furious! After school I went to JT’s classroom. I shouted at him. I have never been so angry, either before or since. JT told me I didn’t deserve an A because I hadn’t debated. As I remember it, he talked about not giving “the great Brad Wiggins” an A and seemed to enjoy talking about ruining my perfect record. I thought he was mean and completely unfair. In retrospect, I can see that I considered him my enemy. I shouted that I wouldn’t go to the state tournament and stormed off.

Later JT offered to work out a truce. He said he would raise my first semester grade if I would go to the state tournament and compete in legislative assembly. I agreed to do that and went to the tournament, where I received an excellent rating. I did what I had agreed to do, but I wasn’t happy about it. On our way to and from the tournament on the team bus, I was angry and sullen.

After the school year ended, I received my final report card in the mail. To my chagrin, my first semester grade was still a D! My grade had not been changed. School was over. I had already graduated. I thought there was nothing I could do about it. I became more deeply resentful.

Now, years later, when I asked myself, “Is there someone I need to forgive?” JT’s name was the first name that came to my mind.

I began pondering and praying about this situation—at home, in my car, at church and at the temple.

During the sacrament, I wondered why I was having such a hard time forgiving my teacher. I began to see I was believing that JT had done something to me that was wrong—something that was a sin and that had hurt me. But the Spirit was softening my heart, and I started questioning whether my judgments of him were correct.

I knew for myself that Jesus Christ had performed his atoning sacrifice in Gethsemane and on Calvary and thereby paid the price of all our sins, including my teacher’s sin against me, if what he did was a sin. I also knew that when Jesus pays the price of sin, he not only forgives the repentant sinner, but also opens the way for anyone who was hurt by that sin to be healed and made whole. 

Jesus Christ had already performed the Atonement. The price of sin had already been paid, and I just needed to receive that merciful gift. Thus, I could be healed, comforted, and made whole by the Savior, even if my teacher had intentionally tried to hurt me and would never apologize or ask me to forgive him.

I knew all of that, and it gave me hope. But so far, I couldn’t feel any of that healing, comfort or wholeness. So, I pressed on.

I remember sitting down, picturing the Savior and JT in front of me, and talking out loud to each of them.

I asked the Savior, “What is my problem? Why do I care so much about getting a D and about my grade not being changed?”

The answer came into my mind that my self-worth was wrapped up in my need to look good, my need to try to appear to be good, smart, pleasing, perfect.

Still, I believed the whole situation was unfair. I pleaded with JT, “Why did you do it?!”

When the answer came, I was startled that it didn't come from JT. It came from the Savior:

“I allowed this to happen so you could learn it was okay for you to get a D.”

WHAT?

The Spirit went on to teach me that a grade in school doesn’t mean anything about who I am or what I am worth. My worth to God was established before I came to this earth. My worth is independent of my grades and my striving.

The Spirit said, “This is about my kind of perfection, not yours. This is about preparing for eternal life, not about pretending to be flawless.”

Finally, I was able to begin letting go of my judgment and resentment toward my teacher.

I saw that God had used my teacher as an instrument to teach me an invaluable, life-changing lesson. A lesson that I sorely needed to learn so I could progress.

I began to question whether my teacher was even at fault. I started speculating to see if I could maybe give him the benefit of the doubt.

I thought, what if he had been trying to teach me the importance of being part of a team and of following through on my commitments?

And what if he did submit a grade change request for my first semester grade, but it got lost in the shuffle?

I began to be able to like JT again.

Still, I could tell I wasn’t finished.

So, I humbled myself and prayed. I longed to allow my heart to be broken and to yield my broken heart to the Savior. I asked the Lord for forgiveness. I asked him to cleanse my heart of all hurt, judgment, resentment. I asked to see this man as God sees him. I asked Heavenly Father to fill my heart with the pure love of Christ.

As my heart broke, I felt exquisite pain and sorrow. But I had learned before not to be afraid of that kind of pain. I knew that it passes and gets better! Opening and exposing my wounded heart was a necessary step in receiving the Savior’s deep cleansing, comforting, and healing of my heart. As I experienced these things, I was filled with love, gratitude and joy.

I thanked Heavenly Father and JT for helping me to better see myself as God sees me. I no longer needed to hide that I am human! (At least, not so much! I am still learning.) I can smile now and even laugh when I say I got a D in my high school debate class!

I also thanked Heavenly Father for helping me to better see JT as God sees him and for helping me to love JT more than I thought was possible.

What is the bottom line to all of this for me?

Ironically, I now understand that this was a situation which required me to repent, not to forgive.

Through this experience, I learned to love my enemy, but not in the way we ordinarily think about that.

My teacher was my enemy because I said he was. I created the enmity between us by judging and condemning him. It was I who was the enemy! I needed to repent—to turn repeatedly to God for grace, understanding, forgiveness and healing—to be able to love this man and understand that, in truth, he was not my enemy, and I didn’t need to be his.

Ultimately, I learned to love my enemy when the Savior taught me to see and embrace him as my friend and my brother.

—o0o— 

Photo Credit: “Love Your Enemies” sculpture is by Timothy Schmalz.

Important Note:

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland lovingly shared the following counsel regarding those of us who have suffered at the hands of others, particularly in toxic and abusive relationships:

“Forgive, and ye shall be forgiven,” Christ taught in New Testament times . . . .  It is, however, important for some of you living in real anguish to note what He did not say. He did not say, “You are not allowed to feel true pain or real sorrow from the shattering experiences you have had at the hand of another.” Nor did He say, “In order to forgive fully, you have to reenter a toxic relationship or return to an abusive, destructive circumstance.” But notwithstanding even the most terrible offenses that might come to us, we can rise above our pain only when we put our feet onto the path of true healing. That path is the forgiving one walked by Jesus of Nazareth, who calls out to each of us, “Come, follow me.”

Jeffrey R. Holland, “The Ministry of Reconciliation,” Ensign, Nov. 2018.

—o0o— 

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The Hot and Cold Game: Our Personal Guidance System

Anita and I have seven children. When our children were young, we loved to play the hot and cold game.

To play, we would have one child leave the room while another family member hid a small object somewhere in the room. The object had to be hidden in plain sight. When the child came back, the rest of us would clap our hands louder and louder whenever they moved closer to the hidden object, letting them know they were getting “hotter” and “hotter.” We would clap our hands softer and softer whenever they were moving away from the object, letting them know they were getting “colder” and “colder.” When they were standing right next to the hiding place, we would clap as loudly as we could, and when they found the object we would applaud and cheer! Then it was that child's turn to hide the object while another member of the family left the room.

This was a great game for our family because every one of our children, no matter how old or young, could play and win the game. After playing a time or two, they understood how the game worked. Then all they had to do was to notice how loud our clapping was and move in the direction that made the clapping louder. Because the object was hidden in plain sight, they would eventually find it. The system worked every time for everyone.

When our children got older, we would choose hiding places that weren't quite as obvious—maybe higher, or in a nook, or around a corner—but still in plain sight. Our children could still find the object by simply remembering how the system worked and staying engaged until they found it. The system for the game was designed to guarantee that each of us could always know which direction to go and where to look for what we were trying to find.

Wouldn't life be great if each of us had a personal guidance system like that one—one that is easy to learn to use and that we can consistently rely on to work for us without fail?

After many years of playing the real game of life, I can confidently say that we do! However, in certain respects our real guidance system works opposite of the way the hot and cold game works—which might explain why everyone gets a little confused sometimes about how it works.

When my family played the hot and cold game, we used a physical guidance system. We were guided and directed by changing volume levels of noise, which we detected by using our physical ears as our primary navigation instruments.

Similarly, each of us has a personal guidance system that is spiritual in nature. Our souls are guided and directed constantly by the Spirit of the Lord, by the voice of His Spirit. Our spiritual guidance system has two primary navigation instruments, which we commonly call our mind and our heart.

The Lord was referring to this spiritual guidance system when he revealed to Oliver Cowdery, “[B]ehold, I will tell you in your mind and in your heart, by the Holy Ghost, which shall come upon you and which shall dwell in your heart. Now, behold, this is the spirit of revelation; behold, this is the spirit by which Moses brought the children of Israel through the Red Sea on dry ground” (D&C 8:2-3 (emphasis added)).

To be led by the Lord’s Spirit, we must yield our hearts to God, and we must be willing to follow the guidance and direction He gives us, for, as Doctrine and Covenants 64:34 teaches, “the Lord requireth the heart and a willing mind” (emphasis added).

When my family played the hot and cold game, we knew where to go as the noise got louder and louder. But ordinarily our spiritual guidance system doesn’t work that way. Our spiritual guidance system works best as our raucous thoughts and emotions quiet down and our hearts and minds are open.

Russell M. Nelson, President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, recently said: 

“We live in a time prophesied long ago, when ‘all things shall be in commotion; and surely, men’s hearts shall fail them; for fear shall come upon all people’ (Doctrine and Covenants 88:91). That was true before the pandemic, and it will be true after. Commotion in the world will continue to increase. In contrast, the voice of the Lord is not ‘voice of a great tumultuous noise, but … it [is] a still voice of perfect mildness, [like] a whisper, and it [pierces] even to the very soul’ (Helaman 5:30). In order to hear this still voice, you too must be still! (See Psalm 46:10.) 

“For a time, the pandemic has canceled activities that would normally fill our lives. Soon we may be able to choose to fill that time again with the noise and commotion of the world. Or we can use our time to hear the voice of the Lord whispering His guidance, comfort, and peace. Quiet time is sacred time—time that will facilitate personal revelation and instill peace.”

(“What We Are Learning and Will Never Forget,” Russell M. Nelson, October 2020 General Conference.)

The voice of God is “still” because it is void of commotion, confusion or contention. Although it is small and quiet, the voice of God is clear and can be easily discerned and understood, when we ourselves are still and sincere. When we hear the voice of God in our minds and feel it resonate in our hearts, we know exactly what to do and where to go. We just know.

I believe that the still small voice of God is always available to guide us. Sometimes we don’t know where to look for it. Other times we don’t recognize it or pay attention to it. Sometimes we are just distracted by the noisiness of life. And sometimes we feel overcome by life’s clamor and commotion.

What if it seems like our noisy thoughts won’t quiet down on their own? What can we do then?

I love Doctrine and Covenants 6:36, which reads: “Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not.”

In every thought.

The next verse says, “Behold the wounds which pierced my side, and also the prints of the nails in my hands and feet; be faithful, keep my commandments, and ye shall inherit the kingdom of heaven. Amen” (Doctrine and Covenants 6:37).

When we look unto Christ in every thought, including the noisy doubtful and fearful ones, we remember His loving, redeeming sacrifice for us, which can help us quiet our doubts and fears.

Elder David A. Bednar spoke about this in his April 2015 General Conference talk titled, “Therefore They Hushed Their Fears.” He said:

“In the land of Helam, Alma’s people were frightened by an advancing Lamanite army.

“‘But Alma went forth and stood among them, and exhorted them that they should not be frightened, but … should remember the Lord their God and he would deliver them.

“‘Therefore they hushed their fears’ (Mosiah 23:27-28).

“Notice Alma did not hush the people’s fears. Rather, Alma counseled the believers to remember the Lord and the deliverance only He could bestow (see 2 Nephi 2:8). And knowledge of the Savior’s protecting watchcare enabled the people to hush their own fears.”

Few things help me to calm my mind and heart and to prepare to receive wisdom like the words, “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10).

I know from personal experience that our spiritual guidance system—like the hot and cold game my family used to play—is designed to guarantee that each of us can find our way through life.

We can receive that personalized spiritual direction by simply remembering how the system works, including where to look, and staying engaged until we find our way—again and again and again and again.

I know of no greater blessing in this life.

Photo Credit: Pawel Czerwinski

Serving Others with the Pure Love of God

Luke wrote about a time when Jesus and some of his disciples walked about 30 miles, much of it uphill, from Capernaum to the little village of Nain. It appears that they may have traveled all night in order to get there in time for Jesus to meet a grieving widow at the burial procession for her only son. When he arrived, Jesus said to the grieving mother, “Weep not.” Then, to her dead son, Jesus said, “Young man, I say unto thee, Arise.” Luke recorded what happened next. “And he that was dead sat up, and began to speak. And [Jesus] delivered him to his mother.” (See Luke 7:11-16; The Widow of Nain (video); "B-Y-You Matter to Him, Keith Wilson, BYU Speeches, May 23, 2017.)

One thing about this story seems clear to me: Jesus was aware of this widow of Nain and of her distress. As a widow, she was financially dependent on her only son, who had now passed away, leaving her with the dismal prospect of being alone and destitute. But Jesus saw her. He knew her and her troubles. He had compassion on her and came to minister to her in her time of great need.

Have you experienced a time when you felt troubled, burdened or distressed and you learned from personal experience that the Lord saw you, knew you, had compassion on you, and was there to minister to you in your own time of need?

Many of us have had this kind of sacred personal, loving interaction with the Savior. Such experiences often come when our hearts are broken and our spirits are contrite, as we learn to come unto Christ, look unto him in every thought, and yield our hearts unto him. 

I know from personal experience that this kind of loving interaction with the Savior often happens as we seek to serve one another with the pure love of God.

For example, once, about ten years ago, I was going through a difficult time in my life. I was being stretched in my work, my church calling, and my family responsibilities, and I had developed a health condition that my doctor wasn’t able to explain. I was getting small sores all over my arms, stomach and legs. The sores itched and hurt, and when I scratched them, they bled. I remember feeling conflicted when I chose not to fulfill a temple assignment because I was afraid my sores would bleed and get blood on my white temple clothing. I went to my dermatologist for a series of tests, but it seemed like it was taking forever to get a diagnosis. I began searching for remedies, for anything that might help, but always without success. The hardest part for me was the uncertainty of not knowing what I was dealing with and not knowing whether or when my suffering might end.

After a couple of months of uncertainty and struggle, one Saturday afternoon our doorbell rang. I went to the door, and there stood a brother with whom I was serving as a counselor. This kind brother, who was my high priests quorum president, knew about my health concerns. He had come to bring us a nice dinner that his wife had prepared. I invited him into our home, and as we stood together talking, I was suddenly overcome with the knowledge, because of this act of service, that God was aware of me and knew of my suffering. I was aware of this couple’s love, but what affected me most profoundly was that I could feel the pure love of God flowing through them to me. The Spirit they brought confirmed to my spirit that God saw me, knew me and my sufferings, and had compassion on me. I was assured that I was not alone. I knew I would be okay. The dinner this couple brought was nourishing to my body, but the love of God that sent them to me, and that they brought with them to me, nourished my whole soul.

The Lord invites each of us to learn to serve as he does—with love that is pure. He wants us to learn to see and know others deeply and to have compassion on them as he does. (See Doctrine and Covenants 76:94.)

One such invitation from the Savior came in a poignant moment when Jesus was suffering on the cross for the sins of all mankind. Jesus looked down from the cross upon his mother and upon his disciple, John. The scriptural account recorded by John himself, speaking in third person, states:

“When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son!

“Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother! And from that hour that disciple took her unto his own home.”

(John 19:26-27.)

Thus we see that, even in this moment of his own profound distress, Jesus saw John and his mother. He knew them and what they were going through and what they were facing. He had compassion on them, and particularly on his mother. What did he say to them? “Woman, behold thy son!” and to John, “Behold thy mother!” Jesus wanted them to see each other deeply, as he did, and he wanted them to have compassion on one another. In particular, Jesus wanted John to be a “son” to his mother. He clearly wanted his own mother to know, like the grieving widow of Nain, that she was cared for and that her needs would be met.

Michelle D. Craig recently spoke about the need each of us has to be seen and known as God sees and knows us. She quoted columnist David Brooks, who said:

“‘Many of our society’s great problems flow from people not feeling seen and known….  [There is a] core … trait that we all have to get … better at[, and that] is the trait of seeing each other deeply and being deeply seen.’”

Sister Craig, went on to say:

“Jesus Christ sees people deeply. He sees individuals, their needs, and who they can become. Where others saw fishermen, sinners, or publicans, Jesus saw disciples; where others saw a man possessed by devils, Jesus looked past the outward distress, acknowledged the man, and healed him.

“Even in our busy lives, we can follow the example of Jesus and see individuals—their needs, their faith, their struggle, and who they can become.”

("Eyes to See," Michelle D. Craig, First Counselor in the Young Women General Presidency, October 2020 General Conference.)

We are all somewhere in the process of learning how to serve others with the pure love of God. Sometimes we get to experience what it is like to see others deeply as God does and to feel and share the love that God has for them. Other times we might experience what it is like to serve others when our focus is more on ourselves than on those we are serving. All of these experiences are potential learning and growing experiences for us.

For example, when I was young, I served as a missionary in the Netherlands. About 16 months into my two-year mission, I was assigned to serve as the mission office secretary for about six months. Toward the end of that assignment, when I was getting ready to become a full-time proselyting missionary again, I overheard my mission president telling another office missionary, “Elder Wiggins will be a great missionary. Elder Wiggins really loves the people.”

That last sentence stopped me in my tracks. I asked myself, “Do I? Do I really love the people?” The Lord’s Spirit witnessed to my spirit that there was a clear gap between the love with which I had been serving and the kind of love my mission president was talking about. I knew I had tried to be a faithful and devoted missionary. I had tried to serve dutifully and obediently. But I saw that I still had much to learn then (and I still do now) about losing myself in serving others with the pure love of Christ.

As I think about this now, I can see that whenever I serve in order to do my duty and to be obedient, my focus is on me and my duty and my obedience—on my being good. Doing so is not a bad thing. It just limits my ability to see and know others as deeply as God does, which also limits my ability to be a conduit for the pure love of God.

About 15 years ago I had an experience that showed me what a profound difference it can make when I do and do not seek to serve others with the pure love of Christ.

At that time, I was assigned to minister to a man in my ward who was battling alcoholism. For a while I visited him regularly and we had what I thought were very positive visits. But there came a time when he suddenly started keeping an outer gate to his home locked. This meant I couldn’t get in to the front door. He also never answered his phone. So I started leaving notes for him, wedging them into the latch on the door to the outer gate. I would go by at least once a month, hoping the gate would be unlocked, but it never was, and so I would leave him yet another note and would encourage him to reach out to me. I don’t remember how many months this went on, but in hindsight it was far too long.

Then one day I felt a deeper concern for this man. I thought about his situation and began to see him more deeply. He was an alcoholic, and it hit me that he was probably keeping his gate locked because he was having a relapse with his drinking and was embarrassed and ashamed. My heart went out to him. I remember kneeling that morning in my bedroom and pleading with the Lord to know what I could do to help him.

That afternoon, that very same day, I received a phone call from this man. I could tell he was in deep distress. He had hit rock bottom and borrowed someone’s phone to call and ask me for support. My heart broke, and I felt deep compassion for him. It was painful to know how much physical and emotional suffering this man had been undergoing as I was going about my life obliviously leaving him my occasional notes.

Thus began a long period when he and I spent a lot of time together. I attended meetings with him at Alcoholics Anonymous and our church’s addiction recovery program. He didn’t have a car, so we spent a lot of time talking in my car, as well as in his home and in my home. I am still touched by the fact that each time this man—my friend—earned a token at Alcoholics Anonymous for achieving a milestone for 30, 60 and 90 days and more of sobriety, he would bring home an extra token and give it to me.

I wish I had seen my friend more deeply sooner. I wish I had thought sooner to plead with Heavenly Father to know what I could do for him. It would be a natural reaction to choose to beat myself up for failing to serve him better. But the Lord soon showed me that even my meager, dutiful efforts to serve my friend had been meaningful and worthwhile. When my friend invited me back into his home, I was surprised to see on his kitchen table a stack of many of the notes I had left for him over those months at his locked gate. The Spirit confirmed to me that my small service had been accepted, blessed and magnified by the Lord. And I also came to recognize and appreciate that it was the Spirit of the Lord that pricked my heart to wake me up to the urgency of my friend's situation and cause me to turn to God for direction.

I know that our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love us. They see us and know us deeply. They have compassion on us and minister to us. As we turn to them and pray to know how we can serve one another with that same pure love, God will answer us. He will teach us. He will mentor us. And he will accept and sanctify even our most meager efforts to serve.

The Helpers

This is an edited version of a talk I gave at church in the Plum Canyon Ward of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints three days after an active shooter incident at Saugus High School on Thursday, November 14, 2019. The principles discussed in the talk seem to be even more relevant and meaningful now, and to more people, as the world seeks to deal with a growing pandemic. I invite you to read this and ask, “Who are the helpers now?”

This week has been a difficult, frightening, painful, trying week for us here in Saugus, California, particularly for students of Saugus High School and their parents.

Perhaps there has never been a time when it was more important for us to be “willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that [we] may be in” (Mosiah 18:9).

It is inspiring to see all that our ward has been doing to provide opportunities for our youth to come together in safe spaces for healthy healing to begin to take place. As families and individuals, and as a ward family and stake family, we will do well to continue to put our arms around each other and to allow each young man and young woman to process these events in their own way and time.

This week has been a time of intense and sometimes mixed thoughts and emotions. This has been a time to weep and to mourn the loss of life, the injuries sustained, and the terrible emotional trauma experienced by so many. It has also been a time to rejoice each time a surviving student was reunited with his or her family.

I watched some of the live TV news coverage as events unfolded on Thursday. One reporter interviewed a mother and her son at Central Park. They had just been reunited and each had an arm tightly around the other. The mother talked about how scary it was not knowing if her son was safe. Clearly, she was still very upset about that, even though she now knew he was safe and they were together again. It was touching to see her son comforting her and to watch as they walked away after the interview arm in arm.

After prayerful consideration, I would like to share with you four principles. I pray that these four principles will assist us all in navigating our troubles, trials and traumas.

First, Fred Rogers of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood often shared the following advice for children:

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’”

Especially to our youth, I would give the same advice: Look for the helpers.

We can draw comfort, strength and hope from seeing and recognizing how many helpers there were and are in this conflict: Teachers, first responders, parents, students themselves, and many others. As we minister to one another, we all become helpers for each other.

Second, as we learn to look with an eye of faith, we begin to see more clearly how many helpers there really are.

In 2 Kings chapter 6, we read that on several occasions the Lord revealed to the prophet Elisha, and Elisha in turn warned the king of Israel, how the armies of Israel could evade the opposing armies of Syria. The king of Syria was furious and thought one of his own soldiers must be a traitor tipping off the Israelite army about his plans. But the king’s servant told him it was actually “Elisha, the prophet that is in Israel, [who] telleth the king of Israel the words that thou speakest in thy bedchamber” (2 Kings 6:12). Upon hearing this, the king of Syria sent spies to find Elisha. The spies returned and told the king that Elisha was in Dothan. Verses 14-17 tell the important part of  the story:

“Therefore sent [the king of Syria] thither horses, and chariots, and a great host: and they came by night, and compassed the city about.

“And when the servant of the man of God [Elisha] was risen early, and gone forth, behold, an host compassed the city both with horses and chariots. And his servant said unto him, Alas, my master! how shall we do?

“And [Elisha] answered, Fear not: for they that be with us are more than they that be with them.

“And Elisha prayed, and said, Lord, I pray thee, open his eyes, that he may see. And the Lord opened the eyes of the young man; and he saw: and, behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire round about Elisha.”

I pray that our spiritual eyes—the spiritual eyes of every Saugus High School student and parent and everyone else touched by the events of last Thursday—may be opened to see that they that be with us on both sides of the veil are more than they that be with them.

(See also Looking Forward With an Eye of Faith.)

Third, our ultimate Helpers are Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. We can always look to them for help.

One of my favorite scriptures is recorded in Doctrine and Covenants 6:36, where the Lord says, “Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not.”

Earlier in my life, I assumed this scripture meant that all of my thoughts should be good, and I should never doubt or be afraid.

Later I started taking the words of this scripture more literally:  I need to look unto Christ in every thought, including my good thoughts, my bad thoughts, my doubtful thoughts and my fearful thoughts.

On Thursday, as the events at Saugus High were unfolding, I pondered on this scripture and the voice of the Lord’s Spirit came into my mind, giving me a deeper understanding of this scripture. It said:

“Doubt not to look unto me.”

“Fear not to look unto me.”

What do we see when we look unto Christ? The answer is in the next verse of scripture:

“Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not.

“Behold the wounds which pierced my side, and also the prints of the nails in my hands and feet; be faithful, keep my commandments, and ye shall inherit the kingdom of heaven.”

(Doctrine and Covenants 6:36-37.)

When we look unto Christ in every thought, especially the doubtful and fearful ones, we see who He is and what He has done and will do for us. We are reminded of His atoning sacrifice and of the help and healing only He can offer.

The Book of Mormon prophet Alma helps us understand the very personal nature of the atoning sacrifice of our Savior. He said:

“And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.

“And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.”

(Alma 7:11-12.)

To “succor” means to “run to help.” (See "Running to Help, Already With Us.")

I share my witness that Jesus Christ, our Savior and Redeemer, will run to help each of us as we doubt not and fear not to look unto Him. He has taken upon himself our individual pains, afflictions, sicknesses and infirmities, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor us and give us what we need.

However, when it comes to emotional trauma, relief can sometimes seem to be slow in coming. Sometimes it may seem that the Savior is not running to our aid and we can feel alone or abandoned.

So, the fourth principle I want to share with you is this: Even in your darkest moments, the Lord is mindful of you and is watching over you. You may not feel it or be aware of it at first, but he is with you. I testify that He will give you the strength to carry on—to make it through all your dark moments, whether they be short or long. And in a coming day you will receive the greater comfort and healing that you long for. You are not alone. The Savior is with you. Our Heavenly Father is with you. And we, your helpers, will also continue to be here for you and walk with you.

We can see this fourth principle profoundly at work in a story about Martha, Mary, Lazarus and Jesus in John 11:1-44.

Martha and Mary were sisters. Lazarus was their brother. They lived in a town in Judea called Bethany. They loved Jesus, and he dearly loved them.

When Lazarus became sick, his sisters sent for Jesus, who, at the time, was staying at a place a little less than two miles from Bethany, and implored him, “Lord, behold, he whom thou lovest is sick.”

However, upon hearing that Lazarus was sick, Jesus did not immediately rush to go to Lazarus. Instead, he remained where he was for two more days. Only then did he leave with his disciples to go to Bethany.

When they arrived at Bethany, Jesus learned that Lazarus was placed in a tomb four days earlier. Many mourners had come and were there trying to console Martha and Mary about their brother.

Before Jesus arrived, Martha heard that he was coming, and she went out to meet him. “Lord,” she said, “if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died. But I know, that even now, whatsoever thou wilt ask of God, God will give it thee.”

Jesus said, “Thy brother shall rise again.” Martha replied, “I know that he shall rise again in the resurrection at the last day.” To this, Jesus declared:

“I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this?”

Martha said, “Yea, Lord: I believe that thou art the Christ, the Son of God, which should come into the world.”

Martha then hurried back to the house, called her sister aside from the mourners, and said, “The Master is come, and calleth for thee.” Mary quickly arose and went out to meet Jesus. When the mourners saw that Mary was leaving the house, they followed her, thinking she was going to Lazarus's grave to weep there.

When Mary came to Jesus, “she fell down at his feet, saying unto him, Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died.”

Seeing Mary weeping and also the mourners who had come with her, Jesus “groaned in the spirit, and was troubled,” and he said, “Where have ye laid him?” They said, “Lord, come and see.”

Then the Gospel of John simply says, “Jesus wept.”

Some of the mourners said, “Behold how he loved him!” Others said, “Could not this man, which opened the eyes of the blind, have caused that even this man should not have died?”

Jesus, “therefore again groaning in himself,” came to the grave, which was a cave with a stone that covered the opening. Jesus said, “Take ye away the stone.” Martha objected, saying, “Lord, by this time he stinketh: for he hath been dead four days.” Jesus responded, “Said I not unto thee, that, if thou wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory of God?”

Then they removed the stone. Jesus lifted up his eyes, and said, “Father, I thank thee that thou hast heard me,” and then he cried with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come forth.”

Lazarus came forth, “bound hand and foot with graveclothes.” Jesus said to them, “Loose him, and let him go.”

Why did Jesus wait for two days to come a relatively short distance to be with Lazarus and his two sisters in their time of need? Clearly, he loved them and mourned with them. He cared about them deeply. When he saw their grief, sorrow and disappointment, Jesus wept and groaned within himself. So why did he wait?

Jesus knew the end from the beginning. He had a reason for waiting. It was a reason that he fully understood. It was something that he wanted Martha and Mary, and also his other disciples, to understand for themselves. It required him to delay his coming.

In John 11:4, Jesus told his disciples, right after learning that Lazarus was sick, that “[t]his sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God might be glorified thereby.”

Then, after two days had passed, Jesus told his disciples it was now time to go to Bethany, and Jesus plainly said to them, “Lazarus is dead. And I am glad for your sakes that I was not there, to the intent ye may believe; nevertheless let us go unto him.”

It appears that Lazarus had in fact already been placed in the tomb well before the messenger from Martha and Mary told Jesus that Lazarus was sick, for Lazarus had been in the tomb for four days when Jesus arrived there after only a two-day wait. Waiting an additional two days left little doubt that Lazarus was in fact dead and “stinketh.”

Only under these circumstances—after the beloved friends of Jesus had waited so many agonizing minutes, hours and days to feel the Savior near—would they and his other disciples be able to witness for themselves, and for us, that what Jesus told Martha was true:

“I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die.”

In this way, they became the first witnesses of the fact that the mortal Messiah had power over life and death, “that the Son of God might be glorified thereby.”

I testify that there are divine purposes whenever we are required to be patient and wait upon the Lord.

I testify that Jesus Christ loves you and me personally, individually, just as he loved Martha, Mary and Lazarus. He has power to raise us from physical death and also from emotional darkness. He is mindful of us and watches over us. And even if we do not feel his presence now, I testify that he is with us and will stand by us.

Doctrine and Covenants 68:6 assures us:

“Wherefore, be of good cheer, and do not fear, for I the Lord am with you, and will stand by you. And ye shall bear record of me, even Jesus Christ, that I am the Son of the living God, that I was, that I am, and that I am to come.”

So, during this and every trial and tribulation, may we learn to take comfort by looking for the helpers.

May we learn to look with an eye of faith and see how many helpers there really are—on both sides of the veil.

May we learn to doubt not and fear not to look unto Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ as our ultimate Helpers, knowing that we can always look to them for help.

And may we learn to trust that, even in our darkest moments when we feel alone or abandoned, the Savior is mindful of us and is watching over us. Even when we don’t feel his presence, may we learn to trust and ultimately come to know that he is nevertheless with us and will stand by us.

Thus buoyed and strengthened, may we, too, be found among the helpers.

This I pray in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

—o0o—

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